I am lost again =>

hello..
i lost my way again..=( i kp my promise lol..wht shld be kp..bt i feel unbearable..i feel lk tt pain in my heart..i don wanna make anybody sad cos of my actions again..cos i hav done it before..which really hurt them alot..bt,it's nt by mean..i jus can't control it..bt now..i decided to make up for my actions..bt,i found it hard..now then..i understand their feelings..i'm truly sorry to them..i hop they can forgive me..and i noe tt they hav already forgiven mi..bt,i still feel bad..i can't forgive myself..once again..i gotten say sorry to them..i make u sad cos of mi..i'll be yr listening ears if u need mi =)

my sci.chem..fail badly..oni get 14 over 50..first time so bad althought my sci hav nt be gd..bt tis is the worse time..i really gt study..bt i still fail..wht shld i do?//i feel useless..

can anyone understand my feeling?